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“Hello, Bob,” said the lady.

She was talking to Bob Bly, the prolific copywriter and author.

“Hello,” he said.

“Bob, do headlines have to be outrageous to catch the reader’s attention?”

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“Outrageous?”

“Yes,” said the lady. “Like, ‘How the broke, homeless, 28-year-old became a millionaire in 6 months’ — or something like that?”

“Well,” said Bob. “It depends on the market niche and the industry. But my simple answer is no, I don’t think they have to be outrageous or absurd. I do, however, think they have to make or imply a fairly big promise.”

“I see,” she said. “Can you give me an example?”

Before I show you Bob’s example, let’s be clear…

Direct-response (DR) headlines have a couple main functions:

1) Get The Reader’s attention (i.e., “Hmm, this is interesting…”)
2) Draw The Reader into the copy (i.e., “OK, but how?”)

So a DR headline typically doesn't give The Reader the complete picture, the whole story. It’s not selling as much as it is luring, coaxing. And one of the best ways to do this, as Bob said, is with a big promise. 

Of course, your promise must be presented correctly. More on this in a second…

(NOTE: Some headlines should deliver the whole story and, yes, sell — but that’s another topic entirely.)

Onward.

“An example?” said Bob. “Sure. Ever heard of Day-Timer?”

Day-Timer makes physical planners, calendars, organizers — basically, time management and productivity products. 

Years back, Bob was writing for a Day-Timer competitor. He was hired to beat an existing direct-mail “control” (i.e., the ad pulling the highest response rate for an offer).

This was the client’s control headline:

Good, not great. 

Because while a promise is present (e.g., “Next week I’m going to get organized...”), it’s a bit abstract, weak. The promise is missing clear, specific language.

This was Bob’s alternative headline:

Bob Bly winner.png

See how Bob uses specificity (e.g., “at least one more hour of productive time each day…”) to make a vivid, valuable promise. He also uses trigger words, like, “INSIDE” and “guaranteed” to bolster the promise and suggest instant gratification, compelling The Reader to keep reading.

So which direct-response headline won?

The latter, of course. Bob’s copy beat the control by 50%.

And it wasn’t outrageous or sensational or absurd.

It just made a clear, specific, big promise.


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Hey there, thanks for reading. :)
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Enjoy!
Eddie Shleyner
VeryGoodCopy, founder
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